


Human!

by Sweetooze



Category: Underfell - Fandom, Underswap - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Changed world, Comfort, Different Roles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Harems, Help, I GAVE THEM ACCENTS, M/M, Multi, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader-Insert, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, What Have I Done, a prologue that is six chapter long, a whole new AU, and got trapped underground instead, but give it a try, can you believe that, gender neutral reader, its weird, reader thinks theyre not very useful, skelebaes for days, the humans lost the war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-12-11 16:11:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11717874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetooze/pseuds/Sweetooze
Summary: Humans, who have been trapped underground for centuries, are finally free.Monsters don't trust humans; humans are afraid of monsters. There's hate, violence and disrespect all around.You're just trying to make it to the next day when you meet them.Now you see many different angles of a situation you didn't even have time to think about.It doesn't hurt to get a hug every now and then too.





	1. Fibulous Day!

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Six Skeletons, One Maid](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7124200) by [RaccoonSinQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaccoonSinQueen/pseuds/RaccoonSinQueen). 
  * Inspired by [Six Skeletons in Your Closet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10453650) by [MsMK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMK/pseuds/MsMK). 
  * Inspired by [Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9816140) by [Tyrant_Tortoise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyrant_Tortoise/pseuds/Tyrant_Tortoise). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck_   
>  _Wherever you are_   
>  _Whenever it's right_   
>  _You'll come out of nowhere and into my life_   
>  _And I know that we can be so amazing"_

The sky.

That is something you are never going to get tired of seeing.

The sight of the shades of purple and orange melting against the pearly white remaining of a raining evening make the morning especially breathtaking.

That beautiful endlessness never fails to remind you that in this world, there are no limits.

Even for a human like you.

* * *

 

 

 

At that moment, when you begin angrily pulling at your keys, muttering profanities at your front door's jammed lock, you just know you're going to be late.

With a heavy sigh, you stop and eye the dreadful scene.

The sparkly rainbow keychain shines against the light, almost tauntingly so, with its smiling face dangling at you. Your hands are red and sticking with sweat.

You run a hand over your face, tiredly. It's the third time in the week and it's just too damn early for that.

A loud rumbling noise alerted you of a big vehicle coming down the street.

You look over your shoulder to see the bus you that supposedly would take you to work, whistling by your porch. There was nobody at the bus top across the street too, you noticed, no one that could signal the driver to stop and -maybe- give you time to hurry over there.

You sigh again. Now you are definitely late.

The house you've been living in for the past few months is only one of the many worn out apartments of only one of the many buildings spread all over Ebott Town that serve the purpose of housing most of the humans in the surface world. They are old, small and a bit -some _a lot_ \- run down, but they are free, having been offered as a gift by the King and Queen of monsters themselves. More often than not, accidents like the one at hand will come to be.

But as you happen to be in the process of saving enough money to find a better place for yourself, you can put up with it just fine for now. This isn't permanent, you remind yourself.

And, let's be honests, this thing right here is still much better than the Underground.

The images pop into your mind and you shudder. Yes, _much_ better.

You are taken away from your thoughts from yet again the same rumbling sound from a few minutes ago.

You are in luck, it seems! Another bus is just coming. If they could, your ears would have perked up.

Feeling determined, you forcefully twist and pull, finally managing to snatch your keys. You then race for the bus just in time to see the machine slowing before you even get there.

In your commotion you didn't notice someone had arrived at the stop and had been watching as you stood before your front door, lost in your own mind. This is, luckily, their ride too, so they had brought an arm out for the bus unknowing of just how grateful you would be of them for such a simple act. They now wait patiently for the doors to open, casually inhaling their cigarette... until you come - _un_ -gracefully crashing onto their back, unable to slow yourself before noticing their presence.

“Ouch...”, you groan. You'd hit someone. Hard.

Said someone was now sprawled on the floor and you can only hope you didn't instantaneously kill them with your clumsiness.

Relief washes over you only for a moment when their hand moves to their... _skull?_ Wait a minute...

The skeleton rubs the orange spot on his skull and you see white pinpricks stare up at you. You hit a monster.

“'ello”, they greet, the voice indicating they are probably a he.

He sounded a bit airless to you but you might be imagining that, unless... Oh, you were sitting on him. Of course.

“Crap! I'm so so sorry sir!” You quickly jump onto your feet and pull him with you. He calmly brushes his orange hoodie as you babble apologies: “I am so late for work, I didn't notice you there, by the way thank you for stopping the bus, this is a terrible way to treat someone who-”

“is a monster?”, he finishes, showing you a half-smile. “don't worry, hun. i'm not going to bit your head off.”

A loud honk makes him turn back lazily and you crane you neck to look over his frame. The driver is standing from his seat, grimacing at your foreign human face. “Hey you!”

They point a menacing claw, their bright slited eyes squinting at you: "That Human giving you any trouble, pal?"

You sink at his tone and prepare an apology, putting your hands behind your back, trying to show -as much as possible- how inoffensive you really are, _you swear_.

The skeleton beats you to it, though, as he laughs soundly at the other monster and hops up, nervelessly petting them on the shoulder: "c'mon now, mate, you're being rude."

He then starts to look through his pockets for change and motions for you to go ahead. You tentatively hand over a piece of gold to the driver and they snatch it from you with a huff.

You glance at the empty bus, save for a couple of rabbit monsters in the front. They both stare hard at you.

"You sit at the back," the driver speaks up, decisively. You quietly comply and go to the last row of seats.

Moments late, you place your hands at your knees and contemplate, watching the scenery pass by as the bus starts to move.

You are glad that situation didn't escalate into something bad. A human, practically tackling a monster? That's bound to end badly. It was certainly going to, handn't it been for him.

You watch as the monster couple rushes to exit at the next stop, one of them throwing you a look, momentarily.

Oh well. You let out a soft sigh.

You feel the seat beside you sink and turn to see the skeletal man sitting by your side, leisurely shuffling through his cell phone.

“oh, sorry hun, did you want to be alone?”, he asks when he notices you staring.

You think for a moment on how to respond to that.

"I didn't think any monster would want to seat there," you decide to say, simply.

"heh" He grins at you and flicks his skull to the front, where the driver is scowling at you through the rear-view mirror, "i just like to piss people off, you could say." He then extends his arm, offering his hand for you. "i'm stretch."

You can't help but smile back as you introduce yourself.

"i have to say, though, i was also a bit curious... you humans are really... _hip_."

"Oh."

...

Your manager, BP -short for something you had yet to discover- doesn't give you much more than a stern look when you enter MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, your day job's work place. He knows how far you live and, honestly, you had really not been late many times since you started. You had always apologized too, and explained the little bad luck strokes you had, this time being no different from before.

“My doorlock is jammed,” you informed him right away.

“Really,” he comments, standing behind the counter while overlooking the other workers. “Fix that thing, will ya?”

You shift at that bit of advice. “I'm actually saving money for a... project of mine."

You put your apron and cap on, while he gives you a comtemplative humming. His furry brows furrow and he flicks his tail when you leave.

You move on to post yourself behind the drinks counter and exhibit your best smile. As per usual, it doesn't do much.

Most monsters do little to hide the surprise at seeing a human working on a monster restaurant. Their reactions always vary from mildly surprised, to downright terrified, sometimes even giving up on their beverages as to not have to interact with you. Even so, you always manage to ignore it all, filling and refilling the paper cups that are given to you.

The only thing in your mind now is trying to do your job the best way you can. Which always proves to be a challenge much harder than dealing with the clientele.

There are always two workers at the drinks aisle. It's usually you – you suppose because, compared to all positions, this is the one that requires the least amount of communication with the customers and BP has some sympathy -and a great amount of pity- for you. But no matter which monster takes the spot besides you, they always manage to beat you in any way. Either using their magic to levitate cups and serve more efficiently or multiple members to fill more at the same time. Even the trainees are better than you at your job.

You can't help but feel a bit humiliated. Especially because, most of the times, the clients only make it worse.

“Stars, can you be any slowler?”, a short foxlike monster growls at you. You hurry to place the lid on and she snatches the cup from you, leaving before you even have the chance to finish your line: “Here you go, Mx.”

Just a second later, a horned behemoth approches the counter. “Finally!”, they puff, adjusting their suit. “The lemon soda.”

You breath in deeply, badly hiding the fact your head is spinning after hours of this. You hand over their drink, as fast as you can, but they don't seem impressed. “Here you go, Mx.”

“Took you long enough," they murmur as they look you down with contempt. Your next costumer moves forward and you prepare yourself.

“ _GOOD DAY, HUMAN!_ ”

 _Oh, how sweet_ , you almost say out loud. That was a new one.

“Good day.”

You stand there, patiently waiting for the skeleton to order and he just strokes his red flowing scarf in a pensive manner. If he was oblivious or just uncaring of the angry looks of monsters waiting in line behind him, you didn't know, but you suspected a bit of both as he eyed the selection of drinks behind you with a confident expression. Either way, this was a breather, and you were glad.

“I SHALL HAVE THE DIET GLAM SODA, IF YOU PLEASE!” His voice is loud and a little boisterous, but you give him a genuine smile, anyway. He's the first monster to be nice to you since your shift started.

You fill his cup with care and give it to him in a second. “Here you go, Mx.”

“THANK YOU, HUMAN! THE GREAT PAPYRUS APPROVES OF YOUR WORK!”, he exclaims and gives you a rather photogenic thumbs up. “NICE JOB!”

He bounces out of the store with his head up, nonchalant to the stares he receives along the way. His armor  _almost_  shines as brightly as his smile.

You smile even at the grumpiest of costumers after that.

...

 _"Six months ago, Humans, once thought to be extinct, have appeared from Mount Ebott and joined monsterkind on the surface world. Who are they? Are they dangerous? Or not at all? Find out more later on.._.”  
You pry yourself away from the random TV display and amongst the cacophony that is downtown at midday, the reporter's voice slowly fades away.  
You wonder. Are you dangerous?  
You don't think so. You're just a human.  
The tall, looming figures of the Royal Guard doting the background make you think it might be otherwise.  
Even though the city's main square is a busy place -full of monsters walking about doing their business at most hours of the day except, maybe, for midnight and early morning- and although it might be understandable they would be doing shifts there, you just feel like they don't trust you at all. There always seems to be someone watching you.  
Ignoring the feeling, you keep your head low and navigate through the fur and scales and feathers untill finding your destiny. The flashy “sale” signs on the glass don't fail to catch your attention and you enter the store that claims to have one of your favorite things in life. Cheap food.  
Passing by the aisles of products you skim the price tags and startle yourself.

But this isn't cheap at all!  
Well, not for you, anyway. A human's salary in a world of monsters isn't much, it seems. There isn't much you are qualified to do, after all, other than serving food and handling a register, having spent your entire life in a cave. Add that to the burning desire of leaving your apartment and you're not left with much except for what you need for transportation and very few other necessities. Today, it seemed you had best holding on untill later to your stock of instant noodles back home.  
You let your shoulders fall as you look out the vitrine to the monsters walking about the street and feel lower than ever. Would that ever change?  
You slowly wander out from the store and idly take a look at the sky. Baby blue fills your vision and warmth washes over you as the sun shines. You take a deep breath, enjoying it.  
You'll never get used to that feeling.  
“having fun?”  
Again, there is the sensation of being watched, except this time accompained with a deep voice that rises. A small metal cart is in front of you when you look down and one more time this day, white pinpricks shine at you from within half closed eye sockets. A seemingly friendly smile sends chills running down your back.  
“heya. want a hot sausage?” The skeleton offers, perking a bit from his position, leaning with both elbows on the cart.  
“Hot sausage?”, you echo, still not entirely familiar with monster cuisine. “You mean a hot dog?”  
“hot dog?” He makes a face at that. “i have friends who are dogs, you know.”

You sink a little at that.  
“Oh! I'm sorry, I- uh!”, you wave you hands wildly and feel yourself start sweating, wondering if you had royally screwed everything up.  
He starts chuckling at you, though. “stars, kid, relax.”  
“they would probably be more offended by that than me” His grins widens at your previous reaction, chortling again. Despite his foolish tone, you feel like he's very serious about what he says next: “i'm not humanphobe, you don't need to worry.”  
You watch him stupidly for a while. That was... very straightforward. And very nice.  
“but hey, how about that water sausage?”  
He eyes you from his comfortable spot under the sunshade attached to the cart.  
You suddenly remember your situation and meekness brings you out of the state of surprise. “Sorry, I'm broke.”  
He raises an eye bone and brings a bony hand to his chin, pondering about your statement. He motions for you to come closer, after a moment of thought. “how about we make this one on me?”  
You open your mouth to disagree but he is already pulling a water sausage from the container and placing it inside a bun. He ignores your perplexed look as he grabs a bottle of ketchup and proceeds to efficiently drown the meal with the red condiment. He hands it to you with a bigger smile than before, as if proud of his culinary creation.

" _bone-appetit._ "  
“Thank you...” You don't have a better answer for that.  
A tentative bite makes you let out a pleased hum, however. This is better than you could ever have thought, you realize with a smile. You eat it vigorously and quicker than with grace.  
“gotta love a hungry customer,” he chuckles. “sans, by the way.”  
You introduce yourself in between bites your name.  
The sun continues shining down, bringing you the heat that you never had; the breeze brushes against your face, filling your lungs with clean air; and the monster before you grins back, reminding you that there is kindness out there for everyone.  
You'll never get used to that feeling.  
You feel better.

...

 

The distance within one job to another for you, is quite a bit.

Unnecessary to say, you can only catch the bus so many times in one day: you're cutting expanses. So now you walk.

Luckily for you, there's at least an hour gap between the end of your first shift of the day and the second. Unluckily for you, the path isn't one of the greatest of all city.

Shady would be an understatement, to be precise. Humanphobe would be more accurate.

While most monsters elsewhere would be sligthly shifty around you or downright ignore your presence, the ones on this place would practily spit at your feet.

Crossed arms and flashing of claws come from the presences leering at you. You do your best to ignore it.

As you pace quickly down the street, concentrating on avoiding bumping anyone you keep your gaze straight ahead.

“The fuck is  _that_  doing here?”, you hear someone comment, the monster seemingly unconcerned with being quiet.

“This human trash is everywhere these days.” Their partner is equally uncaring.

You shake your head and move on. You refuse to acknowledge even the muffled groans that rise from an alleyway by your side. You walk right past it.

Still, from within the dirty walls of the back street, skeletal fingers appear from behind the random trashcan. This individual, unknown to you, had spent almost the entirety of their day on the same spot, drowling over the food cartons and used toothbrushes as they slept away last night's _hard_ partying.

“fuck...” They scratch their skull, red still dusting their cheekbones since they had fallen asleep. “hah! they bet I couldn't down the shot without using ze hands!”, they inform the nearest milk gallon laying around. “weeell, guess who got dunked on?”, they slur. Their audience remains impassive.

“ _Hey, you!_ ”

A scream rings through the dark place and the skeleton pulls off the -at least in their condition- impressive deed of standing up, feeling especially intrigued, as well as annoyed, at whoever was so careless to yell right in the middle of their hangover. They stalk out of the alleyway and into the shady street, well-known to them, then turn to face the commotion.

A tall reptilian monster stands tall before you, a pair of elongated fangs shinning menacingly at you. You don't have to turn around to know a huge rock monster is there too, impeding any escape.

“L-leave me alone,” you command, not a all firmly.

At this point, you think you're beginning to miss the Royal Guards. At least they would've prevent this kind of situation, but you supposed the reason this part of city is so dangerous is precisely the lack of their presence.

“See? They all think they're better than us, ordering us around,” the rock monster grumbles.

“Damn right,” the scaled monster nods, flicking their tail. “bet they don't even have any venom. Humans are such little shits."

“Ugly bags of flesh.”

“All talk and no action.”

“They can't even do magic,” the monster shakes a stony head.

“but you know who can?”

Of a sudden, you see your antagonists' knees give in and their bodies are pushed against the concrete as a red glow shades the scene.

You turn to see the glint of a golden fang and a red pupil contrasting with an empty eye socket. You think you should be more surprised with seeing a skeleton but, frankly, after the third, you were getting used to it.

“hey stefe, long time no see,” he spoke to the reptile, with a deep, dry chuckle. “bruce,” he nods to the stone monster.

“R-red! Watcha doing around h-here?”

“H-how ya been doing, Red?”

Both monsters shaky voices are cut off when their bodies rise high and fall again, much harder than before. They go silent after that.

“i hafe got one question for both of your sorry asses...  _where is my fucking money?_ ”

Their audible gasps and whimpers are the only answer he receives. “tut-tut, that's not good at all.”

You are simply glued in place as he stands there, obviously enjoying the taller monsters squirming in place under his control. You blink twice when you realize you could have left the danger zone all this time. But when you try and move your feet, you find yourself - _literally_ \- glued in place, that strange magical red energy enveloping your legs as well as the monsters.

“you hafe three days," you hear 'Red' say.

You can't hold in your words when you see the pair of them flying over your head and disappear into the buildings. “Fuck!”

“want to, sveatheart? nefer  _boned_  a human before.”

You crane your neck away from the  _way_ too close for comfort skeleton.

Did a monster  _hit_  on you? ...and with a pun? You shake your head. This was just  _weird_.

“Uh. I have work,” You supply, twisting your nose. He smells like trash.

“yah, yah, sure you do,” He rolls the pupils inside his sockets. “listen here, little pipsqueak,” He waves a hand and suddenly you're sitting on the ground, and he looks a lot taller than he really is.

He didn't need that to be any scarier, though, you think. “i wouldn't come here anymore if i were you”

You gulp. You hear him perfectly, but... “This is my way to work.”

“well then you hafe better find a new one. this is no place for humans who can't fight.”

“I'll be quieter next time," you counter. You didn't want to call it stubbornness, but did you really have to give up your fastest route yet? You had two jobs, damnit.

Suddenly remembering that, you give a quick glance down to your wrist and startle.

“I'm going late for work the second time just today, can I go, please?”, you turn to him, knowing you sound much like a child being scolded by their parents.

“huh?” He seems throw off by this, scrunching up his nose as if he thought you were a little off in the head. “sure, whatefer you want.”

The magic keeping you in place disappears and you quickly jump to your feet.

“Thanks for your help,” you say, even though you understand his business -whatever it was- with those two was probably the biggest reason why he intervened.

“no problem, sveatheart, just don't expect me to be here every time,” Red smirks at you.

“I can handle.”

He beckons and walks off the opposite direction.

You think you see him trip a little on the perfectly flat ground, but it must be your imagination.

When you look back to check, he is already gone.

 ...

You aren't the least bit guilty of admitting you enjoy your second job at Muffet's Coffee and Bakery Parlor much more than the first.

Maybe it's because you don't work here at rush hour or maybe it's just because the smell of caffeine is always revigorating, whether one actually like's the drink or not. Also, the costumers would never be as demanding here as the patron from MTT's, so even if mochas and lattes are a little more complicated than soda, you can do it carefully, joyfully even.

You also are allowed to bring home the pastries that are heat up and not eaten, so that is a  _huge_  plus in your saving-money mind, you think, licking your lips.

You do the same routine of putting on apron and cap, getting ready for yet another few hours of work untill you were finally done for the day.

You stand before the register, appreciating the manner in which the setting sun dimly lights up the shop. You breath in deeply... oh, the peace and quiet...

“ _GOOD AFTERNOON!_ ”

You see a monster splash their steaming coffee all over their shirt and feel bad for the poor soul. You quietly motion with your head for your partner barista to go for aid as your first client of the day approaches the counter.

“HELLO, HUMAN!” For the second time this day, a skeleton speaks so loudly you feel your ears bleed internally. He's a kind one too, at least.

“What can I get you?”

“I'LL HAVE ONE  _MAGNIFICENT_...”

He scans the menu and eyes the sweets on the glass cases. At each passing second, though, you can see his stars shaped irises shine a little less. That's strange, did he see anything bad? Are there spiders in the food? Should you tell him they're just your co-workers?

You're about to do that when he speaks up: “...A MAGNIFICENT TALL EXPRESSO.”

And he seems incredibly disappointed at his own request as he places a single gold coin in front of you. You take it, unsure.

“For here or to go, sir?”

“I'LL BE TAKING AWAY, PLEASE.”

You turn around and comply anyway. Simple enough, in less than a minute you hand the heartbroken skeleton his drink.

He hesitates before leaving and glances at the pastries once again, before addressing you. “YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY CRISPS WOULD YOU?”

You bend down and pull a bag of said treat from under the counter, quietly brushing of a line of dust from the package. They aren't the most popular, so they don't even go on display. Even though they aren't necessarilly terrible, you feel almost bad for selling them.

“You were looking at the sweets, sir? Aren't you interested in any of them instead?” You try, placing the bag of chips down.

“ _OH NO!_ ” His eye socket go wide as if you had spoke the biggest profanity that ever graced his metaphorical ears. “I DON'T... DEAL WELL WITH SUGAR. BUT THANK YOU FOR THE KIND OFFERING!”

You smile at him, although, feeling terrible for the little thing at the same time when his hand darts for the sugar packages but then moves its course to the sweeteners.

“I want a refund.”

The 'poor soul' from before is standing right where the skeleton had been, two furry arms crossed over his chest as another pair lays over the counter. The other few costumers on the store watch the scene from afar, hushing whispers and laughs. “I spilled over my drink.”

“I'm so sorry, we don't do any refunds," you say, dutifully, glancing at your fellow coworker from before, who is now standing behind you with a sullen look. “As you said, you spilled your own drink.”

“Who do you think you are, human?”, he slaps the wood loudly, making you jump. "I want my refund!"

“EXCUSE ME, I SUGGEST YOU CLEAR OFF!”

When the skeleton stand up, hands in his hipbones, frowing at the monster who is at least two heads taller than him, several  _very_  red flags raise at the same time in your mind. Is he going to hit the little guy?

But then he raises an arm to show the other monster something you can't quite see and the color instantaneously leaves the tall monster's skin.

“ROYAL GUARD IN TRAINING, YOU CAN CALL ME THE MAGNIFICENT BERRY!” He turns to you with a confident smile and shows you a little badge with something you vaguely recognize as the 'Delta Rune' engraved on its metal surface.

It has in it the words 'Trainee Berry' written in a bronze color. Well, that explains the armor then.

“Oh. Hello, Berry.”

"You can call me...", you pull on the name tag stuck to your shirt and point in a similar manner. "... the barista."

While you have your little exchange, the other monster promptly runs out of the shop. You let out a sigh in relief.

“IT WAS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU< HUMAN BARISTA!” Berry half bows at you, before leaving as well. You're almost worried he will pursue the other one, but he turns to the opposite direction, looking pretty much like he has not a care in the world.

 ...

Five minutes. Just five more minutes and you're off.

You stretch your stiff column and suppress a yawn.

You look at the empty shop. Thankfully, your coworker -who drops out at the same time you do- is closing tonight.

You're not going going to want to be the one who has to kick out those guys, you think, throwing a glance at the group of monsters reunited at the end of the room. Sometimes, - _when Grillby's is closed_ , you had heard them say once- at the end of the day, the same few Royal Guards will come here to empty wathever is the remaining quantity of your Spider Cider for the day. And to just be generally rude.

You look down at your watch. Four minutes.

The glass door opens with a bang and you're surprised the glass doesn't shatter immediately. The monster walks in, unconcerned, and looks like that could've happened, if they had just wanted. That was probably true, you think.

They walk closer and you almost crease your eyebrows. They were a Royal Guard, if the armor was any indication, but the metal was pitch black against their white bones - and really, what was it with skeletons today?

You'd never seen any guard dressed up like that, though. How strange.

They look down at you sharply. You hold back a shiver.

“LONG BLACK,” he says, smashing two gold coins down in front of you. “TRENTA.”

You go slightly bug eyed at that. Did that guy sleep? “For here or to go?”

“HERE,” he crosses his arms impatiently and the long scars on his eye sockets stretch as his eye sockets narrow at you, making you stare and cringe visibly.

What a mistake.

“ARE YOU DEMENTED, HUMAN? DO I HAFE TO DO YOUR WORFLESS JOB FOR YOU?”

He growls, twisting his skull in a way his - _bigger than your littlefinger_ \- fangs were especially emphasized.

You scatter off immediately and begin your task with shaking hands. It takes much longer than needed, being a big order and given your nervous state. You actually end up spilling half of the content of the enormous cup all over on the floor, just a moment before you give it to him

You hear the other Royal Guards burst with raucous laugh at that, but don't dare to look up at the skeleton, instead, turn and refill as quickly as  _humanly_  -emphasis on the human part there- possible.

Sidestepping the recently made puddle, you hand it over to him with both hands. He takes it easily with just one.

“Sorry for the wait, sir.”

He says nothing and moves with long strides to a booth, ignoring the calls from the others guards on the way.

“Hey, transfer! Come sit with us,” a rhinoceros in heavy armor beckons at him but is left with no answer. The monster in question only sips at his drink, eyeing the horizon ahead with a look of clear disgust. The bigger guard scoffs loudly at his demeanor. “Look at that, the Feller think he's too good to sit with the cool kids.”

“C'mon, Black!”, they stand, the long sword hilt attached to their back screeching the floor soundly as they walk to the front.

The posture they wear screams defiance and you can't make yourself look away. “Don't be a dick, now.”

The others laugh.

The monster slaps a large hoove like hand on Black's pointed shoulder plate. "Come s-"

You can only scream in panic as a skeletal arm shoots for the rhino's neck faster than your poor human brain can process and smashes them against the table, an audible crack resounding on the store. You hope it's from the wood and not their spine.

“ _DO NOT TOUCH ME, MAGGOT,_ ” Black then gives a step back and pulls the guard on his feet. “ _UNLESS_ IT WILL BE WITH THE END OF YOUR SVORD.”

He once again crosses his arms, daring them to attack.

“ _What do we do?_ ”, you turn to ask the other barista in a hushed tone, but your question is throw in the air as you realize you're all alone.

The rhino staggers in place and brings a hand to his head as if to steady the possible buzz in his mind. Their friends all stand up, struggling to unstrap their weapons in their cider induced dazed state. They are waved off feebly by the dizzy guard. “I got this, I got this...”, they insist.

They pull their sword from its hilt, slowly. The skeleton doesn't move.

The heavy monster lifts the weapon and starts towards him. You feel like watching a bowlling ball going for the strike of that last standing pin.

You put your hands over your eyes, but guiltlessly open a slit in between your fingers at that last moment.

Just in time to see Black twist out of the way, a thick bone materializing in his hands. He throws it in a swift motion and the projectile hits the other Royal Guard sharply in the head with a loud dull noise. They collapse on the spot.

The skeleton doesn't spare a glance at the others, but steps up to you instead.

“YOU WILL TELL MUFFET THAT I WILL PROVIDE THE FUNDING OF ANY REPAIRS," he doesn't request. The look he throws at you isn't one of someone who doesn't enjoy seeing fear in other's eyes.

He leaves, opening the door with even greater strength than before, which causes the spider shaped clock on the wall to promptly fall, still ticking somehow.

You watch it with a miserable sigh.

It has been twenty minutes since your shift's ending time...

Seems like you're closing tonight.

* * *

That night, in your home, you thoughtly went over the events of the day.

In all your fluffy blanket and instant noodle glory, you can only think of one thing to do after all that's happened.

You walk over to the calendar stuck against your fridge and pick up a nearby marker.

'Fibulous Day', you write down.

Ok, now you can go to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each AU is a different city in the country of monsters. They all belong in the same timeline.  
> I thought I would give them different accents, because... I had that idea one time... and that's it.  
> Underswap characters have a (very badly written) British accent.  
> Undertale characters have an American accent.  
> Underfell characters have a (also very badly written) mix between Russian and German accents.  
> (someone commented that they imagine them speaking like Gru from Despicable Me, lol)  
> I hope none of that is offensive, btw.  
> I love feedback!  
> Follow me on Instagram: @natashossauro  
> See you next time :)  
> [This has been revised!]


	2. Challenge Accepted!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only Berry and Papyrus can make something as tedious as grocery shopping so exciting.  
> 

One of the advantages of being broke -and there aren't many- is that it makes grocery shopping so much easier.

Right now the content of your shopping cart consists of a box of golden flower tea; exactly five crab apples; a package of pumpkin bread; a bottle of echo flower oil and a can of fried snow to go with that; a jar of ghost jam; and a tub of puppydough ice cream, which you allowed yourself to get, in case of an emergency.

It's amazing what dessert made by young pups will do to you in the middle of a crisis.

You pass by an entire aisle filled with mysteriously labelled boxes of “Junk Food” and turn around a corner, pleased to find the main reason why you come here in the first place. The cheapest thing on the store, your beloved Instant Noodles.

You dig your arm deep inside the -noticeably untouched- stack of packets and shamelessly push them to fall on your cart, forming a chaotic pile on the bottom.

There. Your supply for the month.

The monsters around all throw you funny looks, but you brush them off.

Jokes on them, you're used to being stared at just by merely existing. Ha.

You also probably the only reason why they still sell these things here anyway - as their small price would suggest, Instant Noodles taste like cardboard.

You turn a corner and find yourself drowning in pink. Large pink eyes look down on you from the a wall a the far end of the aisle of MTT-Brand products aisle, the tall robot celebrity himself flashing you a charming smile. Was this here before? Either this is a new section or you really didn't pay attention to where you went and found your way to the most expensive products of the supermarket.

“Bishie Cream... Anime Powder... perhaps Marinara Sauce?”, a strangely quiet voice asks.

You find the source of the sound not far behind you, a tall skeleton who seemed to have been stuck there for a long time in perpetual questioning. His red scarf is somehow recognizable to you and after struggling a bit to remember, you smile widely at him. It's that kind skeleton that you met at MTT's!

“Hey, nice to see you again,” you say. He jumps, startled and almost drops the several flasks he has so carefully clutched in his hands.

“OH, HELLO HARDWORKING HUMAN FROM THE BURGER EMPORIUM!” Past the shock, he gives you a pleasant smile. “IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU TOO! AND CONVENIENT!”

“What was that?” you ask, confused.

"YOU SEE, THE GREAT PAPYRUS FINDS HIMSELF IN A DIRE SITUATION," he informs you, bending down to your eye level with a serious look on his features, "AND PERHAPS SOME OUTSIDE HELP, WILL BE OF USE."

"I see," you nod along.

"I AM A SKELETON OF VERY HIGH STANDARDS!" The monster backs away, and stops still as he places a hand where his chest would be, his scarf billowing at an nonexistent breeze. “SO CHOOSE WISELY WHEN I ASK YOU THIS QUESTION, HUMAN!"

He holds out his hands and shows you the multicolored small bottles, smiling expectantly: "WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK ITS BEST? MY PERSONAL FAVORITE IS THE MARINARA SAUCE, BUT MAYBE I SHOULD TRY SOMETHING NEW??"

"I..." you gap at the actual condiment among the many flasks of cologne, "...think you should go with your heart's desire," you finish, safely.

He beans adorably at you, satisfied with your answer, before his face falls. A low, overly dramatic, chuckle fills the isle. “MYEH HEH HEH...”

 “IF IT ISN'T MY NEMESIS, MY BIGGEST RIVAL... PAPYRUS! WHAT COULD YOU BE DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS< AT A TIME LIKE THIS?” You have to hold back a snort when you see, of all monsters and people, yet another skeleton you met while at work. Short, also in an armor... You recall him saying he was a royal guard as well?

“I ALWAYS SHOP HERE. AND WE CAME TOGETHER!” Papyrus responds, frowning a little at that, seemingly annoyed to be taken out of MTT hype.

“MEANINGLESS DETAILS!” the other answers. What was his name again? This one you know, it's on the tip of your tongue... Oh, of course!

“Hi there! Perry, wasn't it?” you greet with a friendly wave.

Papyrus gives a quiet -yet loud- snicker at that, covering his mouth as if laughing at a private joke.

“ _BERRY,_ ” the short skeleton corrects you, his smile faltering a little at that. “GOOD TO MEET YOU AGAIN, HUMAN BARISTA.”

Papyrus suddenly steps up, approaching the monster in a confident stride. “BERRY, THAT OTHER ROYAL GUARD IN TRAINING WHO CONSTANTLY ATTEMPTS TO RIVAL MY GREATNESS-”

“I"M NOT GREAT, I"M  _MAGNIFICENT!_ ”

“-CAN YOU NOT SEE I'M DISCUSSING A MATTER OF UTTER IMPORTANCE WITH THIS HUMAN?”

He puts a hand on his hipbones and wags a finger in front of Berry.

“RUBBISH! YOU SPEND TOO MUCH MONEY ON THAT SILLY NAPSTATON IMPERSONATOR... HE IS REALLY NOTHING TO BE IMPRESSED ABOUT, IF YOU ASK ME,” Berry says, coming up to meet Papyrus. He stuffs his rib cage while the other monster huffs and stomps at that as if he had never been more offended.

“WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD REFINE YOUR TASTES!”

With them both standing toe-to-toe, skulls scrunched up in grimaces, you start to feel a weird static in the air, that makes you hair stand.

“PAPYRUS!” the shortest skeleton announces, suddenly. “I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!”

Oh no. Not this again. You unconsciously place a hand on the handle of your previously forgotten cart, unsure about the safety of your noodles in this situation.

“I ACCEPT!” Papyrus doesn't miss a beat, his permanent grin shining theatrically at the supermarket's lights. “LET US SEE WHICH OF US IS THE BEST SKELETON!”

You decide that's your cue and try to pull your shopping cart along as quietly as possible. You are definitely not interested in being a bystander to any fighting that's done in a public establishment -you have enough of that at work, anyway.

But as you are turning the corner and almost succesfully leaving the war zone, you hear Papyrus' voice calling out to you.

“HUMAN! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” he inquires with a confused look to his eye sockets.

“A DUAL ALWAYS NEEDS AN ARBITER, I'M SURE YOU MOST KNOW?” Berry complements, watching you expectantly as well.

Never in your life had you expected to receive the puppy dog looks from a skeleton. Let alone two. While grocery shopping. You are extremely unsure about this.

 

You give out a heavy sigh and shrug to the skeletons. They light up like pinball machines and move to stand one facing the other, a decisive look clouding their sockets.

The static gets heavier and it makes you feel like you want to sit down for a while. An impossible breeze picks up, making their clothes flail around. You think you hear the light rattling of bones as well. And is that tumbleweed rolling away in the corner?

Berry puts one foot in forward and points at Papyrus. You brace yourself for the possible destruction of your groceries.

“WHICH IS FASTER, HOT OR COLD?” he shoots.

What?

“ _HOT_ , OBVIOUSLY! YOU CAN EASILY CATCH A COLD,” Papyrus answers in a heartbeat, before throwing back: “WHAT QUESTION CAN YOU NEVER SAY  _YES_  TO?”

“ _ARE YOU DEAD?_ PLEASE, PAPYRUS, THIS IS FOR BABYBONES!” Berry retorts, “WHAT IS THE EASIEST WAY TO DOUBLE YOUR GOLD?”

“PUTTING IT IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR! I COULD SAY THE SAME! CEASE HOLDING BACK THIS INSTANT!”, the tall skeleton boasts. “WHAT IS EASY TO GET INTO, BUT HARD TO GET OUT OF?”

“ _TROUBLE!_ AND TRUST ME, YOU WILL NOT BE SAYING THAT FOR LONG!”

And so they go, back and forth, asking and answering quicker than you can think. They strand straight, pinpricks never leaving the other, as if their life depends on that. They are fighting for honor and for the noble title of  _the best skeleton_.

You honestly can't believe what you see. For a moment there you thought they were going to start beating each other up, but really, you shoud have expected nothing more from the sweet monsters. You smile at yourself with that thought.

“WHICH THREE LETTERS CAN FRIGHTEN A THIEF AWAY?”

“ _I, C, U!_  WHEN WILL A NET HOLD WATER?”

“WHEN THE WATER IS _FROZEN!_  WHAT CAN YOU HOLD IN YOUR LEFT HAND, BUT NOT IN YOUR RIGHT HAND?”

“YOUR OWN RIGHT HAND! WHICH SIDE OF A CAT HAS THE MOST FUR?”

“ _THE OUTSIDE!_  WHAT MUST YOU GIVE BEFORE YOU CAN KEEP?”

“YOUR WORD! WHAT MONSTER CAN SHAVE TEN TIMES A DAY AND STILL HAVE LUSCIOUS FUR?”

“ _A BARBER!_ ” Papyrus answers with a particular glint in his his sockets. He strikes a pose and shows a cocksure grin: “I AM _ALWAYS_ IN FRONT OF YOU, YET I AM _NEVER_ HERE.  _WHAT AM I?_ ”

You watch expectantly, waiting for Berry's answer at any moment. But it never comes. You heart breaks as he gags, his composure slowly falling apart. He looks even worse than when he realized the small amount of sugar free drinks at the Parlor. The skeleton slowly sinks down to the floor, melting away in his own misery.

“HUMAN! YOU HAVE TO COUNT NOW!” Papyrus -loudly- whispers at you, coaxing you into the duel arbiter you had never thought you'd be.

“Oh, sure! 1... 2... 3...”

You kneel down next to Berry and gently tap his shoulder with each number. He looks at you and you try your best to give him and encouraging smile.

“4... 5... 6...”

He creases his brows, madly searching for the answer as if it would be somehow stamped in your forehead.

“7... 8... 9...”

Berry jumps to his feet, promptly pushing you into falling on your rear as he essentially screams for all of the store to hear: _“I AM THE FUTURE!!”_

“you sure are, bro,” a chuckle rises from your side.

The -at the time,  _not_ \- smoking skeleton, the first you had ever met, offers a hand to you and pulls your body to a standing position. You smile in thanks and he responds with a lazy smirk.

“Hi... Stretch.” This time you focus enough not to say the wrong name.

“nice tibia seeing ya, hun.”

“BROTHER! STOP SAYING NONSENSE AND WATCH AS I FINISH MY OPPONENT IN THIS HONORABLE BATTLE OF WITS!” Berry calls out to him with displeasure.

“Brother?” you question, but he brings a finger to his teeth in a quieting gesture.

“don't ruin the show, now,” he winks.

Papyrus looks both scandalized and impressed at the same time as he looks attentively at the newly recompozed Berry.

“WHAT BELONGS TO YOU, BUT OTHERS USE MORE THAN YOU DO?”

Well, that was an easy one; you have heard it many times before, even. You are very surprised, to say the least, when Papyrus freezes.

He places both hands in his skull and falls to the ground in a melodramatic gesture as he emits a long wail. “ _NOOOooo...._ ”

He falls to his knees with a loud  _clunk_  and you take that as your cue to walk over and start counting: “1... 2... 3..”

The aisle falls silent except for you voice and the metaphorical humming noise of Papyrus' brain working on looking for an idea, to no avail. Berry beans victoriously the entire time. You finish the count down with a pitiful tap on the defeated skeleton's shoulder.

“THE ANSWER IS _YOUR OWN NAME!_ ” Berry informs his rival.

...You don't really think this answer applies to either of their cases.

You wonder what you can do to make the sweetheart feel better. The two of them seem to haven taken the challenge  _way_  more seriously than what was healthy.

But then, both skeletons surprise you again when Papyrus stands up and shakes Berry's hand, smiling enthusiastically. “IT SEEMS I HAVE BEEN BESTED!”

“THANK YOU FOR THE EPIC DUEL AS ALWAYS, PAPYRUS,” Berry stretches himself to pat the other monster's shoulder, with absolutely no hint of disrespect. “YOU ARE TRULY THE HONORABLE OPPONENT!”

“AN ASTONISHING PERFORMANCE, AS PER USUAL!”

 Is it possible this two can get any more precious?

“they sure are a sight, huh?” Stretch comments.

“Yeah...” you say, stupidly.

“they do this every other day, it never gets old,” another voice pipes in.

And how can you really be surprised to see Sans -casually leaning against your shopping cart- when every skeleton seems to know each other in some way?

“I can see how it wouldn't,” You agree.

“nice tibia seeing you again, kid,” he states, watching for your reaction.

“to late, already used that one, mate,” Stretch tells him, coolly.

“aw shucks. that one is really humerous.”

“ _SANS!_  DID YOU COME HERE ONLY TO PLAGUE OUR DAY WITH YOUR TASTELESS HUMOR?” Papyrus comes up to the trio with Berry following close.

“nah bro, we only came to check up on what was taking you so long with the groceries,” the hoodie wearing skeleton nervelessly informs.

Both of the previously fighting monsters suddenly become uncharacteristically bashful for a moment until Berry chooses to ignore that comment and inquires with excitement: “WHAT DID YOU THINK OF OUR DISPUTE?”

“brilliant.”

“awesome.”

“Epic."

 _“OF COURSE IT WAS!”_  Both royal guards exclaim in unison and both neck wears flow in waves as they strike a pose.

The pairs of siblings end up saying their premature goodbyes afterwards, Stretch and Sans claiming they all still hadn't even gotten half of what they needed, since Berry and Papyrus had spent the last hour on the same aisle. You chuckle a little at that.

Finally, you go ring up your own things, receiving the usual weird look from the cashier at the quantity of instant noodles packets in your possession. Heh, they must be new.

With your bags in hand you leave the supermarket behind. At the same time, the small group of skeletons walks through the automatic sliding doors. You give them a small wave, almost loosing balance with the heavy purchases. They all beckon in goodbye to you but Papyrus on the other hand, skips over to you.

“HUMAN!” He speaks. “I WAS WONDERING...”

“Yes, Papyrus?” you encourage, seeing him clearly select his next words with care, if not a bit of doubt.

“YOU ARE A VERY NICE HUMAN,” he blurts out and you crease your brows together. “IT IS TRUE! I HAD SENSED THAT THE FIRST TIME WE MET. YOU HAVE AN _EXQUISITE_ SOUL.”

“Oh.”

What else are you suppose to say to that?

You don't know much about souls, except that they are really important to monsters. They can see souls but human's can't, which is why your people had only gained any knowledge about them when you ascended to the surface. And you are no scientist or teacher, surely not the most well-educated on the matter.

But you guess you can take that as a compliment: “Thank you.”

“YOU'RE VERY WELCOME!” he smiles, “MAY I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?”

“W-what?”, you stutter at first, his innocent eye sockets batting (?) at you.

Maybe exchanging numbers wasn't as much of a big deal for monsters as it was for humans? Or maybe it was just the Papyrus way of life, you think.

In any case, you can't find a good reason not to indulge the sweetheart right now. “Sure.”

He hands you his cell phone and you type your contact info

“WE SHOULD HANG OUT, HUMAN!” Papyrus says “THE TWO OF US. AND SANS. BERRY AND STRETCH TOO. AND ALL OF OUR FRIENDS!”

“I will be looking forward to it,” you say, mirroring his grin.

You realize you can't really help smiling more than usual in his presence.

He then bows charmingly at you, waving slightly as he starts jogging back to the rest of the group.

“FAREWELL, HUMAN! WE SHALL MEET AGAIN!”

* * *

**Papyrus: 21:51  
**

**Human! I would like to thank you for partaking in our duel today.**

**Papyrus: 21:51**

**We couldn't do it without you :D :D**

 

 

**XxX: 21:58  
**

**No problem, Papyrus!**

**XxX: 21:59**

**I had a lot of fun**

**Papyrus: 21:59**

**:D ;D**

**Papyrus: 21:59  
**

**Would you like to be a part of a friendly gathering we are having this Friday?"**

 

 

**XxX: 22:03  
**

**Sorry, Papyrus, I'll be at work**

 

**Papyrus: 22:03  
**

**Wowie! You are a really hardworking human :O**

 

**Papyrus: 22:03  
**The Great Papyrus understands :)****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Instagram: @natashossauro  
> See you next time :)


	3. Happy Victory Day!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Water sausages, spidery drinks and a very special holiday.

**Papyrus: 11:41**  
**Human! Would you be interested in participating in a get-together this Saturday?**

 

 **Papyrus: 12:02**  
**Do you like spaghetti?**

 

 **Papyrus: 12:02**  
**Of course you do :)**

 

 **Papyrus: 12:02**  
**Silly question**

 

 **Papyrus: 12:03**  
**There will be spaghetti**

 

 **Papyrus: 12:03**  
**Just so you know :))**

 

 **XXX: 12:20**  
**Sorry Papyrus, I work on Saturday too :/**

 

 **Papyrus: 12:20**  
**I see... I shall think of something else!! >:)**

 

You grin to yourself as you pocket your cell phone and quickly walk out of the greasy, fabricated air of the Burger Emporium. You force steps that feel longer than your height would allow, trying to move as fast as possible -or maybe _impossible_ , because _impossible_ speed would certainly come in handy now, you think.

With your schedule, you never really have a lot of free time, but today you really are in a tight spot. And that isn't due to the fact that you happen to be squirming through a crowd of monsters, right now. You wish.

MTT's was packed since the moment the doors opened. You had never seen it become so full before, so that was the most pleasant surprise, of course.

You wonder if today is some sort of monster holiday? You notice there are more monsters outside too. You see, more than once, they greet other with more cheer than usual, with hugs and even the occasional pat on the back.

You didn't really pay any particular attention to the news this morning, so you are left clueless now, wondering what sort of holidays the monsters celebrate.  
But you have no time for any of that, anyway.

Because _that_ -whatever it may be- led you and several of your fellow workers to skipping your lunch break to help thin out the clientele. And now you have -if you want to be optimistic- half of the time you usually have to walk across town and reach Muffet's before the beginning of your shift.

You stop in front of a store with big, flashy sale signs that are slightly familiar to you. You make an indignant scowl at the place, muttering about the lies these simple pieces of plastic provided. 5G for a can of Monster Dew? _How is that a sale?_

This scenario brings a sudden thought to you: if you are where you think you are, then that means that nearby is...

You don't even need to turn around fully to find him, his skull reflecting the bright sun, buried deep in between the fur of his blue jacket. You come closer, allowing yourself to rest a little under the shade of the food cart's umbrella. You feel especially intrigued by the long line of Z's comically hovering over his form while his loudly snores away.

“Hi Sans,” you try.

He stirs once. Then you hear strange popping sounds as he wiggles a bit in place. He stirs one more time and then slowly stretches his arms, very much like a big animal just waking up after a long winter. The skeleton raises his skull, showing you his signature smile as he greets: “ay kid.”

“Why don't you just take a break?” you ask, watching as the strange light blue letters fade out from the scene. “If you feel so tired you fall asleep on your job?”

He laughs deeply, like from some inside joke with only himself. “kid, every time is my break time.”

You laugh too, lifting an eyebrow at that. “What do you mean?”

“good thing about being your own boss, s'that, I guess,” he says, patting the cart fondly. You ease into a smile, but still wonder: “What about your costumers?”

“don't care, really,” he shrugs, “only do this so pap will go easy with his talks. he gets all riled up by my _lazybones_.”

He speaks as if this is a bnuisance, but you can see that his permanent grin shifts, if only by an inch, when he speaks of his brother. You pull out your phone with a knowing smile.

“Yeah, he does mention that a lot,” you make a show of holding it up for him and scowling through all the many messages of Papyrus in which he uses the words _lazybones_.

Sans winces, then laughs, seeing they are all about him.

“you've been talking a lot haven't ya?” he ponders, while opening the slid of the metal surface he had just been snoozing on.

Your mind momentaneously drifts to the chance encounter on the supermarket, a total of three weeks ago and then to the following days, which were certainly lightened up by the cheery messages the perky skeleton sent you. Most of them were riddles, for some reason -you wonder if he does the same with Berry- but at least three time he invited you to a party or hangout or get-together or whatever the word he chooses at the time.

You think back to only a few minutes ago. You feel bad for always resufing, but your daily routine won't let you have some fun just yet, it seems.

“Yeah...” You watch Sans pulls out a sausage and hold out your hand in objection when you realise what he is doing.

“you're going to tell me you weren't looking for this wonderful chow?” he tilts his head, motioning with a hand to the vegetable between metal tweezers.

“I was actually running late...” you say, almost peeking at your cell phone's screen once again, but then adding: “... and even if I wasn't, I can't afford it.”

You decide that last bit was necessary when it goes through your head that you sound like your making up excuses. And you _really_ don't want to be that rude with Sans, a monster who had been so nice to you. “Everything is too expensive around here,” you reinforce your point.

“really?” He lifts an eye bone, throwing a glance behind you, where the store you had previously visited is. “isn't there a sale?”

Lies! You almost say.

“I really _am_ broke, I told you before.” You give a sheepish shrug, instead. But now you feel like your playing the victim role, because Sans clearly seems to be having trouble masking his look of pity behind his beaming.

“how about I treat you again?” he suggests, after a moment of thought.

“No,” you say, a little too quickly.

You clear your throat before speaking again: “You can't keep giving me free do- sausages like that. It's not fair.”

“i think it's not fair you can't _eat_ ,” Sans declares, moving on with his task, unconcerned by your protests.

“What? And you're the judge now?” You can't help but ask, mumbling under your breath in a not so proud manner as he hands you the dripping pile of ketchup that was your delectable meal.

“he could be if he wasn't such a lazy arse...”

You look up at the voice, while Sans merely closes his eyesockets, returning to his former drowsing position and ignoring the new skeleton that just popped into the scene.

With that, Stretch pointedly inhales deep from his cigarette and blows a trail of smoky puffs into the shorter skeleton's skull. He coughs, clearing his nonexistent throat with a hazy frown. You hold back a giggle.

“... _but_ he'd probably sleep on court, so maybe it's for the best.”

You lift a confused eyebrow at that and he explains: “can you believe this shite went to law school?”

He laughs, seeing your reaction. “yeah, beats me too. also quantum mechanics and stand up comedy.”

“Now, that last one isn't so surprising...” you comment with a grin.

“never finished any of those,” Sans speaks up, not bothering to open his eye sockets as he speaks.

“i wonder why that is...” Stretch drawls, leaning against the cart. The other monster only shrugs, receiving in turn another puff of smoke. This time it floats miraculously inside his eyesockets, coming out through his teeth when he coughs again. He then finally lifts his skull from his arms and eyes you. “don't think the term _passive smoking_ applies here, eh?” He winks.

You and Stretch laugh. Sans seems satisfied.

“hit me, mate,” the tall monster smacks a hand down on the cart's surface. He leans casually on the metal side and breathes in from his cigarette while the other monster proceeds to prepare his meal.

You watch it with curiosity. Similarly to their brothers, Berry and Papyrus, these two are strangely alike. Funny, open-minded and easygoing in a way that almost contrasts with the other pair of skeletons. They even dress alike too, you notice.

You wonder how did they all come to meet each other...

That is a story you wouldn't mind hearing, you think.

“should i be offended you're still not eating it?” Sans points at your hands and you take notice of the sausage you still hold, forgotten. The enormous amount of ketchup has slowly dribbled, reaching your fingers and is now dangerously close to dripping on your clothes. He chuckles, passing forward a handful of napkins.

“I still don't think I should accept it.” You try to push the sticky thing back to him, but he simply closes his eyes, ignoring your attempts.

“just leave it, he's not gonna change his mind,” Stretch says, shaking his skull.

“nope,” the other monster agrees.

You let your shoulders fall, helplessly lingering your gaze on the food for a few seconds. You feel guilty just looking at it.

With a huff, you place it down and search your pockets for a while. Finally, you pull out on old coin that, although has long lost its shine, will still have some use it seems. You place it down in front of Sans, who eyes it with curiosity.

“you know, you don't need to...”

“If you're going to be so bullheaded about it, then I will too,” you state, at last taking a bite from your snack.

“ _boneheaded_ ,” Stretch hides behind a none too subtle cough.

Sans watches you with a lifted eyebrow, the words _seriously?_ metaphorically etched in his skull. He chuckles: “oh well.”

He accepts your payment, probably to lazy to be interested in an argument.

After that you feel much better about indulging on the food, even if you shouldn't really be spending any money on... Oh forget that. You'll just walk tomorrow morning instead of taking the bus for work. That will do.

As you eat, you see Stretch ask for a discount on his order as well.

“i know you're not broke...” Sans looks at him, questioningly raising an eyebone.

“you don't _know_ that...”

 

Stretch grins all the same while finding a crumpled up note from the depths of his hoodie's pocket and Sans takes it with a sappy wink. He eats a sausage much like yours, except his is covered in a much lighter colored sort of sauce. You squint: “Is that... honey?”

“sure is.”

You wonder if condiments are a monster thing, or if it's just with skeletons. Maybe it's actually a water sausage thing. You'll have to try that combination, someday.

“say, hun, what's got you here anyways?” he asks, innocently enough.

It takes you a long moment to answer.

Because that question -despite without having ill intentions- does make you feel a lot like a plug has been connected somewhere on your mind, filling you with the familiar buzz of hurry.

You realize you have efficiently lost yourself in conversation with the two eccentric figures, losing precious time you could have been using to try on somehow make it to Muffet's in time for the beginning of your shift.

The digital clock on your phone's screen tells you there's about fifteen minutes left for your shift. That's not nearly enough time...

What a surprise. You are going to be late.

“wow, with that look you have to be running from the guards or something,” Sans remarks, jokingly, gaining a little snicker from Stretch. Despite that, the monster still begins to worry about your sudden grimace.

“something wrong? you look a tad off there.”

You come out from the depths of your mind, having drowned for a while in thoughts of what will happen to you, when you meet your boss. Possible outcomes range from being fired at the spot to becoming the newest frappé flavor of the shop. For as pleasant as working at Muffet's might be most of the time, you do not like the idea of being on the bad side of your spider boss.

That smile of hers alone is enough to send chills down your back.

You shudder.

“It's nothing, It's just that... I was already running out of time to get to work when I got here,” you explain, tiredly running a hand through your hair in an useless effort of trying to shake the awful feeling in your stomach. “Guess I lost track of time.”

You hope they don't take it personally, because you really don't blame them. If anything, the two skeletons made your day a lot more interesting than you could have expected when you got out of bed this morning. It's a thrill to leave a routine like yours, from time to time.

You're just hoping Muffet will let you take an extra hour or so tonight to make up for your delay. And maintain all your limbs intact.

“where do you work?” Stretch calmly asks, in between bites.

“Muffet's Coffee and Bakery Parlor...” you recite halfheartedly... not really sure about the use of it.

“alright.”

He gives you a half smile the exact moment as Sans does. That creeps you out just a little.

“come again, kid.” The shorter skeleton gives you a small wave, while Stretch offers you his hand.

Normally, when someone offers you their hand, it's polite to do the same, so without thinking much about it, you take it.

The last thing you see, is Sans' skull disappearing against his jacket's fur once more, never to be seen again as he morphs into a bulky mount of fabric on top of the water sausage cart. Then you cease to exist.

 

* * *

 

 

And before you even begin to wrap your head around it, the weight of reality, of having a _presence_ hits you again, making you feel a very different feeling from before, at the pit of your gut.

It's a little like wanting to throw up.

Stretch looks down at you with concern and holds your body steady by the arm. He finishes a last bit of honey covered bread, looking not unlike he would if he had just gone through a stroll in the park -greatly contrasting your ragged appearance, you might add.

You look around dizzly, instantly finding the clear - _although, not as clear as it could be,_ you'll have to clean that later- glass of the Parlor's front doors. Its also visible to you the spider clock on the wall tick tocking inside the shop.

“Huh,” you say, stupidly.

Still fifteen minutes left until your shift.

“huh,” Stretch echoes. His teeth are slowly forming a smirk at your reaction.

“That's... really awesome.” You beam brightly with him, the sick feeling completely forgotten now that you can get a grip on what just happened and are positive you won't have to feel the wrath of your boss. “Did we just... _teleport?_ ”

“more like _took a shortcut._ ” His look of concern vanishes completely too, leaving place for a chipper half smile. “but yeah, pretty much.”

“It's _really_ awesome,” you repeat, feeling the need to.

The skeleton reaches a long arm behind his skull, scratching it with a dull sound.

It's uncharacteristically sheepish. “thanks, hun.”

You nod with a smile. Who knew Stretch would be flustered over such a simple compliment?

But he doesn't seem to be interested in any sort of attention being brought to that fact, and so _smoothly_ changes the subject: “my bro loves this place, y'know?”

“used to go everyday, back in our hometown.” He looks at the front of the store with a distant smile, as if recalling fond memories of the past.  
“and i reckon this spiders are all over the country, so good for us, right?” He laughs. “might as well get him something while i'm here. you still got time for a drink?”

He moves to open the door, leaving it open for you in an invitation.

The pair of you walk in, you figuring _why not?_ You can use something smooth to go with the weigh of the water sausage, still in your stomach – and miraculously so, after that shortcut.

You are also not at all thrilled with the prospect of having to serve all of the monsters inside the place just yet. Muffet's is just as full as MTT's had been this morning, making you think again: _what's going on today?_

Standing on the line -something that, like the crowd, is rare on the Parlor- just behind of Stretch, you decide to go for it and ask: “Hey, is today special or something?”

His response is but a puzzled gaze, so you clarify: “I mean, I know I hadn't been here for long, but I've never seen so many monsters around, so I thought...” The barista of the hour interrupts you politely to take his order. You can clearly see the thankfull look in her eyes when she meets your gaze. Must be a relief seeing in you in a day like this, since you're taking over he place in just a few minutes.

Your face scrunches up when you see Stretch turn around handling a cardboard holder with three drinks in it.

Either he is a _very_ thirsty skeleton or one of those is yours.

“what?” he asks with forced innocence. “sans did it first.” He shrugs.

“I can get these for free you know,” you inform him, shaking your head as you move to take hold of two empty stools next to each other by the counter.

“ah.” His shoulders fall, his eye bones wrinkling in mock exasperation. “tell me next time, will ya?”

“ _Oh_ and that is the extent of your kindness?” You take the plastic cup from him and craddle it in your hands, daring to give him a look of fake indignation to match his own.

“heh.” He sips from his purple straw with a sideways glance in your direction. “about your question...”

You are quickly learning Stretch is the _master_ of changing subjects... and that he isn't necessarily good at it. “...what is the day again?”

For _some reason_ , he does seem to you like a guy who wouldn't keep track of the date, you think. He clicks a pseudo tongue in annoyance when you supply him with day, month and year, just to be sure.

“yeah, you thought right, hun, i just forget about it, is all.”

“What do you mean?” you ask. The confusion in your eyes is very visible to him.

“ _victory day,_ ” he somberly fills you in and you make sure to listen carefully as he goes on: “stopped being a national holiday when you came to the surface but I reckon some still celebrate this shite...”

You are not at all prepared for what he says next.

“the day the war ended. the day the monsters won.”

Oh, you think. You know your expression reflects that thought, but you're quiet.

 _… and the day the humans lost_ , he avoids saying.

“Oh...” you finally vocalize it.

You aren't old enough to know and the generation who fought against the monsters is long, long gone. No one remembers, no one but them.

 _Why... had they left you down there?_ Is a thought that flies through your mind, but you don't voice it.

What you do remember is the Underground. Being born and raised there, where everything is a little dark and _dead_. And the struggle of surviving amidst the snow and the lava, even after a long time, it became only a little easier. You also recall the stories your elders told -as they had been told by their parents- of being thrown to their own luck with little to no resources.

You dare to ponder if -in a _distant_ , _different_ reality- it would have been easier in the Underground for the monsters, with all their magic and wonders.

No, you aren't old enough to remember, and everything about that time might be a little blurried, but you know it wasn't fair.

And the monsters have an entire day dedicated to that.

... _Why?_ Deep inside, your soul cries a little at the thought of ever being banished again.

A gurgly sound announces to that your spidery drink is, sadly, no more and now is time for work.

You say your farewells quicker than you would have liked, but you just need to ignore that look in his face. Worry, pity, whatever it is, you can't think now, you have to... _you have to_...

You don't really know what _you have to_...

...so you just wrap that apron around your waist and put on a smile: “What can I get you?”

It's easier that way.

 

* * *

 

 

Stretch watches you pensively from his stool. The happy expression you have on your face is so fake, he wonders how it manages to fool every monster you serve.

He purses his teeth pretty much like would do if he had any lips. “bloody...”

The seat besides his is no longer empty, another presence has already taken your place. And he knows it isn't because the place is packed and there aren't many avaiable -it's because they had been waiting on the corner, waiting for you to go.

 _Of course_ he wants to speak with Stretch, of course. He just can't have a peaceful afternoon, can he?

“oi, fancy seeing you here, mate!” Red greets mockingly, in a poor imitation of the other skeleton's voice. His breath is strongly reeking of mustard and Stretch can feel it even being at least two heads taller than him.

“can't say the same...” he grumbles, rubbing his temples in annoyance.

“warms me heart.” Red, snickering, beckons to a barista nearby. Luckily, it isn't you. Stretch thinks you already have your mood damped enough for a day. “is that how you treat your family?”

“that's how i treat nobs.”

Red rolls the single red eye light inside his eye socket. “ok, straight to thee point...”

“blimey, that's unlike you.” Stretch raises an eyebrow, matching his mocking tone from before.

“i hate you more then you hate me,” he remarks, before informing the arriving barista his order with a shameless wink.

“you hate everyone.” Stretch points out, watching as Red orders two, for taking away.

“didn't take you for a delivery monster,” the taller monster scoffs. “has the big scary royal guard's got a stick too far up his arse to get his own drinks?”

“shut your trap.” Red's pupil flickers, glowing brighter for a moment, in a way that doesn't scare Stretch in the slightest.

He then motions with his skull to a loud group of monsters in armor gathered in a table at a corner. “he says it's... _poorly attended._ ”

“right.” Stretch gives him a doubtful look.

“ _as i was saying._ ” Another eye roll. “felt your orange magic coming through my area.”

A narrowing of eyesockets... Red really _does_ make an effort to frighten other monsters, Stretch thinks. Not that he is nearly as good at it as his brother. “and dat soul.” A single thick phalange is briefly pointed in the direction of something he can't see, but doesn't need to. He knows its you, probably still with that terrible smile on. “how do you know dat human.” Red demands.

Stretch allows himself to look surprised.

...So you already had the misfortune of meeting Red. Sucks for you.

For a moment, he has no ideia what you could have been doing in a place like his area, but cosidering where Sans' hot sausage cart usually is, it would make sense if you had taken the same route he did today, while taking his shortcut.

 _Do you always go through that place?_ , he wonders.

“most of the times it has something to do with being in the same place, at the same time and exchanging some words.”

He will have to warn you about going there sometime. Nowhere near Red can ever be a really good place to be, _especially_ if you're a human all by yourself.

“very funny.” The monster in question raps idly against the counter with his bones, making a _very_ irritating thumping noise. “did you hear anything?”

Stretch snorts when he sees a tiny bead of red sweat running down his skull. Red is worried and he knows just why. “what? you're worried _that human_ told me anything about that dirty business of yours?”

Two drinks are set down heavily on the counter and Red pays up. Holding one ginormous cup in each hand, he jumps down from his stool, making a thin brown rain fall on his relative's clothes.

The short skeleton glares at him: “you should be.”

They communicate through heavy stares for a while, reading each other like an open book and being aware of it.  
Finally, Stretch shakes his skull. “i heard nothing, you prat.”

Red leaves without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like the premise of the humans losing the war? You like that, do you?  
> Then check out "Humility" by Moss_Flowers! They have a story about that too!  
> It's super coolio B)  
> Follow me on Instagram: @natashossauro  
> See you next time :)


	4. It's The Little Things!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's normal for things to simply not work out sometimes.

The loud _pop_ s sounding from the lock, accompanied by the speeding cars, beeping cellphones and even the hiss of a fresh new layer of graffiti being applied in your building, all added up the unkind pounding in the back of your head, making you groan softly. Frustrated and purely out of spite, you make a sharp turn with your wrist, wishing you could simply skip you and your door lock's usual game of tug, just for today.

_Pop._

You stare uselessly at the doorknob in your hand, now a completely separate object from the rest of your front door.

“Hey, what was that??”

“Nothing!”, you blurt, spinning around way too quickly, in your headache's opinion. The tiny duo looks up to you with curiosity, while you throw the heavy doorknob inside your backpack. “ _Anyway_ , who's ready for some fun?”

Both children squeal in way that would be adorable in any other situation. You grumble at the world's inconsideration of your throbbing temples and general tiredness as you walk.

Then again, what is new? At least today you have good company.

The two children chat amiably with each other about school and video games and cartoons and other subjects that you didn't catch on, because your brain isn't prepared to understand the words coming out faster than the bus running down the street. And by chatting, you mean part one, MK, babbling non-stop as part two, Frisk, offers small nods of agreement.

They have been been best friends since the little lizard fell into the Underground and lifted everyone's spirits, specially the ones of a certain human kid wearing the same shirt as him. The way these two complement each other complement each other, never fails to amaze you.

MK does an unnecessary break for it, ending up with his face buried in the hard metal floor of the bus, but quickly jumps on his two feet, unfazed by the lack of arms and runs to find a seat. The children fight over who is going to seat on your lap and who is going to seat on the side. You sit down and cradle the two in your arms, making they settle down on your knees and leaving the empty space on the side to your bag. Friendship or not, you still need to be the act like a grown up here or some parents would be very angry with you.

For you it's an unfamiliar scenario to climb on without hoping to make it to downtown within the next half an hour, but today you're surprisingly not late for work!

Instead, you're the responsible adult, being paid quite a bit to take care of these cuties and yes, maybe you are little sore from working extra hours at the Parlor the night before, but you how can you say no to being with them?

Also, all that gold. Imagine the quantity of Instant Noodles you can buy with how much they're paying you?

After a while, the bus comes to a stop, leaving you conveniently close to your destination. The children run ahead of you and through the metal gates of... _Nice Park_ , you read the nameplate out loud. Frisk's parents told you earlier that there is this _nice park_ the children always go to, but you didn't expect this.

Well, at least now you understand when monsters say King Asgore is terrible at names.

“C'mon duuude!”

You follow them as they make turns left and right, racing past monsters and trees with the kind of energy only children can conjure up on a lazy Sunday morning. With a sluggish pace, you only manage to keep them in sight as you look for a place to settle down.

Fortunately, the kids eventually enter a playground. The kind that you only see in children's books – large and colorful, full of twisting tubes swings and climbing bars. It's crowded with other kids too, so they are going to be there for a while.

You find a patch of grass that's a safe distance away from any rogue balls and toys, but no far enough that you can't see them. Zipping you backpack open, you pull out an old mantle and extend it on the ground under a looming tree's shadow.

Well, you have to admit the park is indeed really nice. There's trees and plants of all kinds, more than you'd ever seen together, considering the sparsity of nature in the Underground. There are leaves falling on your mantle, you notice, but you're too tired to care at this point. You throw a glance up to the guilty tree and the sun invades your sight, as you let out a half-committed grumble. Your hand comes up to shield your vision and you let it rest there, for precaution. It's pleasantly dark like this, you like it... It won't hurt to rest your eyes for a while, right? You can even feel your headache drifting away along with your consciousness...

It's probably fine...

...

“Can we get some niiice creeeam?”

You gag as a newly formed pool of saliva travels all the way from your mouth to your lungs, bringing you back to the waking world in a coughing fit.

The _thump thump_ of MK's tapping feet on fabric brings your attention to the little monster showing you a toothy grin. “Can weee?”

An interesting fact to point out is that his high pitched whining did _nothing_ to aggravate your pounding head, in fact, you feel much better than before.

Now this is where you start to feel confident with your life choices!

“Sure!” You yawn, already being pushed to your feet in mid-sentence.

MK nudges you with his spiky head in what you assume is the general direction of the nearest ice cream place while Frisk shuffles slightly in the background, a small smile in their face. “Calm down, calm down let me get the money,” you tell the inpatient lizard, who looks at his friend sheepishly.

You look down around your feet, carefully scanning the checkered pattern of the mantle, now almost completely covered by green and brown leaves... but strangely devoid of backpacks.

“Um, buddies...” you start brushing leaves away, wide eyed, “where's my bag?”

They probably have it. Why wouldn't they have it?

The kids shake their heads with confusion. They don't have it.

Backpacks don't just disappear in thin air like some type of... magical skeletal monster or something! _It has to be here somewhere_ , you think, panic starting to soak your thoughts.

“Is it that one?” You jump when Frisk is the one to speak. You take your eyes away from the ground and follow the invisible line from their pointing index to... indeed, your bag.

The one precariously dangling from a running figure's shoulder and getting further away by the second.

“ _Hey!”_ , you call, dumbfounded. The monster turns around for a seconds and gives out a high pitched cry in surprise; weren't you sleeping five seconds ago?

He picks up the pace and you find yourself at a loss of what to do for a moment, alternating between staring at the equally confused children and the escaping thief... before you decide to go for it and run.

“Wait here!” you say behind your shoulder.

“Ok!” MK declares before promptly taking off after you, followed by an impassive Frisk.

Maybe this isn't the best of ideas, you think. Maybe you should call the Guard.

Oh, scratch that, your phone's in your bag. But you can still look around for help, right? Like in the movies, when someone yells _stop that monster!;_ and someone conveniently pulls their leg out, making the evil-doer trip and justice to be done!

That doesn't seem like an option either... already you can feel the heavy stares of the other monsters in the park on you, thinking a human running around, screaming like crazy can't be good news.

Your attempts to look more casual include swaying your hips in what you hope is a convincing imitation of jogging as well as throwing a passing by monster a smile that says _everything is completely normal_ and sends the startled monster tripping on his own feet.

“Sorry!”

You run through trees and bushes as the thief tries with everything in his power to make you give up on the chase and after a few minutes, you start to think he won't have to try much harder – your breathing is getting heavier, you can feel the bubbles forming on your sore feet and the energy you had after that power nap is long gone now.

With the inspiring thought of losing your phone, your house keys and many other items of value along with your only backpack, you find a last minute boost in your pace that allows you to get inches away from your goal... you extend your arm and your fingers brush against the fabric of your bag.

The monster in front of you pulls his shoulder forward, yanking it away from your reach. In panic, he opens the bag and blindly looks for salvation in your belongings. Quicker than you can register, he chunks something at you. The projectile connects with your forehead with a loud _bam_ , causing you to fall backwards and immediately see twice as many thieves running away from your reach.

You rub your stinging forehead, feeling the rapidly forming bump there.

The guilty object of aggression lays on the ground, shinning against the sun. You look at it angrily, expecting an apologize for your troubles at the very least -but then again that might be the concussion thinking- and realize... you're staring at your doorknob.

“ _Fix that thing, will ya?”_ BP's words resonate in your mind, tauntingly.

Now this is where you start to question your life choices.

You kick the damn thing away with bitterness, before a scream breaks the peaceful chirping of birds all around the park and sends you up a few feet in the air. Several footsteps add to the chaos and you wonder if maybe someone called the Guard on _you_?

“Where is the bad guy??” MK's waddles over, making you furrow your eyebrows.

Frisk trails after with your mantle overflowing their tiny arms and dragging on the ground behind.

“Didn't I tell you to wait?”

“We came to fight the bad guy with you!” MK explains, excited. He scans the surroundings with a confident toothy smile. Frisk stands on the tip of their toes behind your back and throws the mantle over your shoulders. It's hot, you're sweaty from all the running and you feel worst than when you left home today, but at least it's a nice gesture. _And you are supposed to be the adult here_ , you think, running a hand across your face.

“Sorry, MK, but he got away...”

How are you going to get these two home now? Maybe there's some change on you still, you think, searching your pockets. As if on cue, something soft drops on your arms, startling you.

Your backpack!

Looking up to thank your mystery savior, your eyes meet with heavily scarred ones -or rather the lack of them. You suddenly understand MK's newfound ability to stay quiet for so long.

The tall skeleton looms over you with a scowl, his posture only slightly compromised by the lifeless body slumped over his shoulder. _So that's where that's scream came from_ , you think, recognizing the crook's upside down features. The image of a royal guard passed out on the floor of the Parlor flashes across your mind. This guy was the reason you had to explain a cracked in half table to your angry boss and all of her eight menacing limbs that day.

You feel just a little bad for whatever fate awaits the bag thief in those black armored arms. Just a little.

“Hi... you're Black, right?”

“THAT'S CAPTAIN BLACK TO YOU,” he hisses.

And with that friendly comment, he turned to walk away.

“Um... thanks?”, you try feeling very much like speaking to the wind.

He looks at you sharply. You take in a breath.

“SOME OF US KNOW HOW TO DO OUR JOBS.”

He leaves with long, imposing strides.

You feel your mouth drop open. Then close. Then open again.

“You could've just said _you're welcome_ ,” you say finally, sure that he didn't hear a word of it.

MK suddenly regains his voice, shrieking at the black mass disappearing at a distance.“He's so cool!!!”

Frisk nods their head in silent agreement.

You roll your eyes.

“How about that nice cream?”

…

After dropping off the kids at their house, the march to your own home was a long and slow one, mostly because chasing a monster through half of Nice Park, isn't what you had prepared yourself for when you woke up today.

Add that to an aching bump the size of a hazelnut in your forehead, a _very interesting_ talk with Frisk and MK's parents about falling asleep on their children and _because_ of that, get stolen from... let's just say that you are more than ready to just tuck yourself under the covers and call it a day.

Or so your innocent brain thought before you got to your front door and your still very much broken door lock. It just isn't your day is it?

_Hissss..._

It isn't nearly as noisy as it was this morning, you notice, but can't help but pay attention to the one annoying sound that persisted since you left with the kids several hours ago.

_Hissss..._

Beside your door, right under your living room's window, stylish writings that you will never be able to decipher have been painted over the brick wall. You think there's _torment_ , _agony_ and _sorrow_... oh no, that one is just a smiley face.

“Hi, Ragel,” you greet.

The small mushroom lifts their head suddenly, flashing you squinting blue eyes.

“Mushroom dance... mushroom dance... whatever could it mean?” they chant, enigmatically jiggling in place.

“It means you're ruining the wall,” you say, crossing your own arms.

“It's _art_ ,” they reply matter-of-factly and cross their own little arms, stopping the dancing altogether. “What else am I suppose to do anyway? I'm rooted here... I struggle to escape, but to no avail...”

As they ramble on, you decide to put your things aside and sit down.

“Well, that makes two of us then,” you mutter.

They eye the doorknob in your hands to you had been previously trying to somehow reattach without any luck. Then the small fungus pull a cellphone that's the size of their head, seemingly out of nowhere, and start typing in numbers.

“I know a guy,” they explain,“but at this hour? He won't be exactly cheap.”

“Do I look like I have any choice?”

…

“I thought you sold water sausages?”

“what can I say?” Sans smiles as he walks up to you, dressed in a blue overall with a large toolbox under his arm. “i'm a monster of many talents.”

He looks your door up and down, running his phalanges over the old wood. He then digs inside his pockets for a moment, pulling out a measuring tape. The short monster works with his back to you, spending the next few minutes holding the tape in several different angles, sizing all there could ever be to size. The more you watch, the more your head tilts to the side, to the point you hear your joints _crack_.

“i see what the problem is,” you hear him say, very serious.

“there's no doorknob,” he turns to you with a larger smile, his pinpricks shinning with mirth.

“No kidding, Sans,” you retort, maybe a little too dry.

He looks taken back by your response. “yesh, sorry kid.”

You sigh.

“It's okay, it's just been a long day,” you say, pinching the space between your eyes at the risk of looking like an old nun, but not caring the least.

“heh, it's ok. i get tons of those,” he lays a skeletal hand on your shoulder.

You can see from under your hand that he looks worried. “you don't look good.”

“Wow, thanks,” you give out a little chuckle. That seems to relax him a little.

He back a way and scans your face carefully before speaking again: “tell you what, i'll take care of that real quick and then we get dinner?”

He motions with a thumb to the door behind him, raising his eye bones in an inviting manner... these skeletons are pretty expressive for monsters that have a smile plastered across their faces 24/7!

“How do you know I haven't had dinner yet?”

A perfectly timed grumble from your stomach answers that for you.

“c'mon... i'll give you a discount!”

“I would take it,” Ragel's voice pipes in, from in between the bushes “he once charged me 50000G for fried snow.”

“ _you_ don't know how to bargain,” sans offers a shrug with zero commitment.

You also don't fail to notice how he doesn't offer to pay for the food this time, respecting your wish of not being treated free stuff. You almost feel like you have some sort of basic authority here! Like a real adult!

“what the heck happened here?” he lifts an eye bone at you and in turn you give him a giddy look of innocence.

He pops out of existence and back again later with a brand new doorknob.

After that you invite him in and you split take out.

It tastes much better than the cardboard Instant Noodles you're used but like hell you're going to say that out loud, you think as you loudly slurp in the pasta.

You have to appreciate the little things.

 

* * *

 

 

**sans: 21:30**

**hey ya its sans**

 

**sans: 21:30**

**pap got me your number**

 

**sans: 21:30**

**the take out was great thanks for having me kid**

**sans: 21:30**

**you dont work on sundays do you?**

 

 

 **XxX: 21:34**  

**Hi Sans**

 

 **XxX: 21:34**  

**Um. No?**

 

 **XxX: 21:34**  

**Do you?**

 

**sans: 21:37**

**nope**

 

**sans: 21:38**

**pap is inviting you to that party thing again**

 

**sans: 21:38**

**but he changed it to sunday this time**

 

**sans: 21:39**

**he really wants you to come over**

 

 

 **XxX: 21:40**  

**Oh, that's really nice :)**

 

 **XxX: 21:40**  

**Thank Papyrus for thinking of me**

 

**sans: 21:43**

**aw you got him to blush ^^**

 

**sans: 21:43**

**he says to bring something tasty**

**sans: 21:47**

**Audio File:** _... nyeh heh heh..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Instagram: @natashossauro  
> See you next time :)


End file.
